Friday, August 31, 2007
hmmm.. i am enlightened?? haha..
jus now while having lunch wif my bro.. i was tinking how to solve the misery that i am suffering rite now.. and i tink.. i hav found solutions!!
the solution will be that i hav to forget that i hav ever study wif my best fren and hav lots of fun.. not reli forget.. but jus put it aside and stored it.. when i finish A lvl den put it back in my memories.. but now hav to keep it aside.. in this way.. i will not be sad that how come last time can study so happy den now lyk study alone isnt a fun thing to do.. if i forget abt it.. den i wont even feel sad!! cos if i nv hav it b4.. i will not tink abt it!! yup i tink this is my solution!!
yup.. hmmm.. i tink.. i am blessed to hav alot of things.. i dunno why but i jus suddenly tink abt it.. is lyk.. is gd to hav frens sms-ing u.. cos it means ppl noe ur existence.. its a blessing to hav: computers and play; frens arnd u; studying together; a brother who dote me; father even though he dun earn alot and care much but still i hav 1; handphone; a place to slp; slippers; shoes; frens who u can tell them ur deepest secret and u noe they will keep it for u.. aiya basically everything!! ahaha.. as in.. jiu very xin fu ba.. not being rich and able to buy alot of nice things doesnt mean i cant hav happiness! anything that u hav now.. maybe it doesnt seems to hav alot of values.. but still.. it is impt!! it plays a part in our lives!! yup!! cherish them b4 its lost..
why must everything be lost 1st in order to cherish them? i tot i learn it thru the last lesson? but i guess i haven.. hmmm.. everyday can be a happy day.. jus that different day hav different among of happiness/blessing.. sometimes when i am enjoying something.. i ask myself.. wad if this is the last time i can enjoy this kind of happiness? actually.. there is nth u can do u noe.. u cant hold it and bring it to the next time u wan to enjoy this kind of 'xin fu' again.. perhaps wad u can do is jus.. rmb the feeling of how it lyk.. and be glad that u hav it b4.. i tink thats the only thing u can do..
when 1 day.. u realise u hav lost some kind of blessing.. u will be sad definitely.. but den.. u can only blame urself and no one else.. why? cos u must hav done something wrong to cause it to be lost.. its quite scary actually.. suddenly something u can hav ytd, u lose it today.. and den in ur heart u r tinking.. i haven enjoy it enough.. how can u jus take it away from me?? den the answer will be.. i am so sry u hav done something wrong.. perhaps u didnt realise it.. but i am so sry that u wont be able to hav it again..
sometimes life is reli cruel.. they dun giv u a second chance to let u prove urself.. its jus too late.. sometimes they do giv u a second chance, third, fourth and carry on.. den when u take it for granted.. suddenly ur fren doesnt giv u a chance anymore.. they had enough of u.. of ur unreasonable side.. den when u reli wan to prove that u can be gd.. u may nv hav the chance again.. not anymore.. its jus too late..
advise for this will be: when u start to realise u r doing the wrong thing all the times, and ur fren is still giving u a chance to change.. seize it!! if not.. even though they might say its okay.. its nv okay.. as in.. dun tink that its okay.. u hav to reli change if u still wan this fren to be wad he/she is lyk.. as in the way they treat u.. or if not.. they may jus change the way of treating u and u ask them wad happen? they will not tell u and say nth is wrong.. i am liddat.. and u realise.. holy shit.. its too late..
no one will suddenly change their attitude towards u.. it must hav been something u hav done.. which giv them a reason to change.. no one will treat u badly if u r a gd ppl rite? i tink this is true ba.. hmmm.. when u reli lost something.. i guess it jus means ur time if up.. i dun mean u gonna die.. but i mean yup thats all the happiness of a particular thing u can hav..
well.. wad i wan to say is.. yes ppl always say the same thing.. i guess it will be same as wad i gonna say too.. cherish everything u hav now!! serious.. anything that u hav now.. every little or major thing.. when someone call u.. be glad they called u.. and answer them nicely!! when someone sms u.. no matter who is it.. be glad they sms u.. or even when they reply.. no everyone will reply u noe.. reli hav to be grateful to everything.. so now wadever i do.. i will jus tink.. glad to hav u here.. yup..
i tink thats all i wan to say.. gtg studying already!! ahaha.. cya all.. i tink some of the things i say is repetitive.. but den i hope it enlighten some of u all too? well if it doesnt den nvm.. at least i tried.. i am glad that i tried to.. sharing feelings may help others to realise wad they r doing too? haha.. yup.. thats wad i wan to say ba.. cya all!! =)
LoOkiNg FoR mY gUaRdiAn AnGeL @
9:48 PM
bad study style.. i guess??
hmmm.. die liao die liao.. prelim coming den no mood to study leh.. how?! suddenly de.. haha.. cos no one study same thing as me den not as fun as last time le.. thats wad i feel la.. but hav to get used to it ba.. if life is a game.. den in this world.. there is only 1 character u can control.. and that is urself.. other players must either accompany or they dun.. =/
haiz.. my best fren nv study wif me le.. is her decision final?? already for a few days she nv study wif me le.. perhaps she find studying by herself is more effective ba.. if thats the case den she will continue ba.. den i wish her all the best!! =) i will jus get used to it and motivate myself and study ba!! last time i study becos i find it fun to study wif someone who can make my study life fun ma.. not everyone hav the power to do so ba.. ahaha..
well.. wad i wish is even though dun study together.. i hope we still can be best fren.. even though it doesnt reli seems the same as last time now.. but if u re-assure me that we r best fren.. that will be more den enough.. yup.. haha.. :)
ps: i find this question " den wad do u wan me to do?? " very hurting.. anyone agree? =P
LoOkiNg FoR mY gUaRdiAn AnGeL @
10:04 AM
Saturday, August 25, 2007
am i feeling it?
hello!! long time no see.. ahaha.. so long ever since i last blog again.. always no time to come online.. busy preparing for a lvl!! last time o lvl olso not liddat one lor.. haha.. but today dunno why feel lyk slacking so decided to say something! haha.. but after this next time i blog tink is after a lvl le ba.. haha.. left this blog so long untouched le wonder who will be the 1st one to come visit again? perhaps no one ba.. haha.. :P
hmmm.. actually i come here becos i wan say something that i tink i ren quite long le.. someone been bothering me.. not exactly come and disturb me.. but dunno leh.. is lyk.. this fren is not reli a fren? a fren ya we tok.. but dun tok much..? not much in particular to tok abt.. am i being monitored by this ppl? i dunno.. it feels lyk it is.. & i jus dun lyk this feeling.. if i am rite that u r reli monitoring me.. den i wan to ask u.. wads wrong wif u?? stop observing me.. stop talking abt me behind my back.. as if i am some sort of monster.. am i reli that bad? i reli dunno.. perhaps i hav change.. hav i? i reli hope not.. the way u say wad i doing.. as if i reli that bad.. perhaps i reli didnt realise i hav change.. but den.. if no one is complaining other den u.. could it be it is u who r the one that is weird? if not den maybe is others dun dare to say it other den u.. i dunno..
she is jus my best fren.. thats wad i am reli tinking.. if u all dun believe is ok.. but the fact in myself is that i reli tell myself that she is jus best fren and nth else!! serious!! but i dunno who is going to believe me.. is my actions telling u all something else? that part i dunno.. maybe i reli wasnt aware..
i dunno wads going on la.. but den i noe now impt is A's? after that den will come to deal wif this again.. now is probably not the time to deal wif this.. yup.. but den if u r reading.. dunno whether u noe i am referring to u.. but den i wan to say.. if u noe its u.. den ask urself this.. am i reli a ppl who is so bad and cant change ur impression of me? or r u jus bias against me?
yup thats all i wan to say.. for everyone who is taking O'level and A'level and promo and even end of yr paper.. all the best for ur results ok!! a lesson that i learn ytd is that dun study for grade.. study becos u wan to learn how it works and from there u will get ur results ba.. yup thats all.. gd luck all the best ok!! =)
LoOkiNg FoR mY gUaRdiAn AnGeL @
11:46 PM